Something nice

I want to blog about something nice.

Can I have something nice to blog about... please?

Unsatisfactory

It's an improvement yah... but not good enough honey. It's true I've put in everything this time, and put down everything else. BUT!
Not good enough.
Not working hard enough.
Not smart enough.
Not lucky enough.

I just feel it's opportunity wasted. I actually screwed up when it's possible to score. Really? Will I ever score in the first place? Haha...

Keep believing.

Love and Marriage

What's love?
I don't know.

What's marraige then?
Loving someone enough to be willng to spend the rest of your life with him/her... I guess?

Spend the rest of your life?
Yeah... eternity. For the better or for worse. Haha...

That person must then be someone who is perfect. Someone who doesn't irritate you one bit.
Nah... No one is perfect. There's definitely something about everyone that's an eye sore to you.

Then you have to tolerate that?
I guess so.

But that's for life!
Yup... rest of the life to be exact. You guys didn't share the cradle at KK hospital... Well most probably not haha.

Wow... That must be love then?
Yah guess you found the answer! Love is such that a couple can tolerate all the nasty things that he/she could not put up with normally (when that trait is found in another), so much so that they can marry and spend their remaining days on earth together.

That's cool. I always though love is about seeing the good things in a person, never expect it to be about seeing the bad.
Yeah neither have I. But you're only 50% correct... Love is seeing pass the bad. =)

tired of being Blue...

Yup! I'm tired of deing blue, depressed, unhappy...(fit in any negative emotion) Haha I think I'm quite a fortunate and blessed girl. I'll be the last person on earth who should feel this way. But I am. How sad... haha...

This is bad. It's affecting my life, my relationships and everything else. It's making me want to do stupid things, which I know I will regret terribly after.

All these nonsense have to stop. Especially after 2pm tomorrow...

Stay strong. Stay calm.

normal?

maybe my abnormalities is the normal me...

A musical for sale! OPPS! I meant, for FREE!

I'm reliving my CAC+US days! Not that I really love them and wanna return to those days though haha... But I suddenly remember one of my babies, the one that was discarded and forgotten, even by myself. Poor thing.

The baby... I aborted it even before I gave it a name. Today I finally name it - Butterfly. Not sure why I name it that way, just thought that sounds mysterious, just like the baby. I guess it's one of those works which I am personally satisfied with. Too bad, with my curent situation, I don't think I'll ever be able to bring it to live.

I started imagining, dreaming how Butterfly will look like before an audience. How it can become a full fledged musical, with songs of her own, a strong cast and many marvellous dances. This is something I've never done before - a real musical.

Looking back, I've written quite a lot of scripts, from my Chinese drama scripts back in secondary school, to MAy I Love yoU (mail u) in 2006 and finally One Step at a Time in 2007. Though the latest 2 were closed to being musicals with songs and dances (for the latter) but none of them is really one. So here I am, posting an adoption ad for my dear baby Butterfly:
If anyone is interested in producing a large scale musical, which content is thriller based, do drop me a message ya!

Meanwhile, I'll continue dreaming. I might even start writing songs for it haha. Hopefully, one day I'll be able to witness its metermophosis on a big stage!

bored... SO BORED!!!

Haha... I guess I conveniently forgot about my dear blog during the holidays. Anyway, I realised I'm not much of a blogger, I just used this as an avenue to complain. To say things that no one is willing to listen to. Awwwz... My blog is really very very 伟大！

So here I am, with the first entry since the start of holidays... which means a new complain to add to my long list! :P

I'm bored... SO BORED! Yah Mark is right, a stay home holiday might be nice, but staying home too much makes me feel like I'm wasting my time. Not that I am really wasting my time entirely (though more often than not I am), but I guess this holiday just isn't what I hope it would be.

My mum kept going back on her words. Whether it was a trip to hong kong or to melacca or even to JB. Haha I guess I'm going no where with my parents in the end. I sure have to get used to her weird temperaments. After 21 years, I am still constantly disappointed by her haha... Acceptance is still a long way to go!

I guess Mark is right in saying "humans are in general just difficult to please". I don't really know what can get rid of the boredom within me. But there's definitely a list of things I want to do but they just seemed so hard to be done. Meeting my friends, S15, the 34th, Fuego, 4A; going out with him before the start of the semester, do stuff that we agreed on but never get to do; a shopping trip with my mum, a holiday trip with my parents; supper with my friends, him and my parents etc. etc. I don't think I'll be doing any of these within these 2 weeks at least. Nothing to look forward to. Haha I think I just wake up feeling like I want to get over with the day now.

I'm so bored... really too bored. Prehaps work is the only thing that will be always there for me. How sad right? Guess I'm left with no choice but to carry out my responsibilities dilligently. At least, that, will occupy the restless me. It's a better option than what I am doing now for sure - pigging out. Since I can't get my hands on the nice food that I craved for (they are all car rides away), I feed my boredom with lousy junk at home. What a way to grow fat, totally not worthwhile! Even if I want to put on unecessary calories, I should indulge in nice food, that will make it more worthy of the effort required to work those extra weight away.

Wow! I've rattled a lot... Haha senseless rumblings that're totally inorganised. Oh well, at least it makes me feel slightly better now. Ok fine, I'll wait for the end of the holidays, where Weili will return to Singapore, where 34th will be meeting up, where I'll finally go on a trip with him, where my holidays will really begin!

THANK YOU!!!

Hey guys!

Just want to thank you guys properly for the wonderful surprise on friday! Really appreciate all of your presence and for making time off your busy schedules. Thank you for coming down despite the weird timing. I was so elated and touched to see all my closest friends gathered together! Haha... that's why i didn't cry although I was sooooo super duper touched; I'm just too thrilled to shed any tear!

Initially I didn't want to have a birthday party was because I didn't want to trouble my mum for the preparations and my friends, especially those who stayed very far, to come all the way down to ulu bukit panjang. (That sounds so noble, actually also because I was too overwhlemed by all my deadlines... so too lazy to organise :P) I didn't expect this to cause more trouble instead. Thanks everyone who went throught the hassle to lias, organise and prepare food. =)

Thank you Abigail, Jing Ling, Jin Yao, Joel, Kang Yu, Melissa, Qin Ning and Wei Han for your making it here. Your presence made a whole lot of difference! Especially Kang Yu and Melissa who both stayed North East, thank you! Wei Han, thank you for making your VIP entrance after a hard day at work! Jin Yao, thanks for guarding the food for all of us! Abigail, Jing Ling, Joel and Qin Ning thanks for holding the pretty sparkles, making everything seems like a fairytale. =)

Thank you Shi Leng, Weili and Ying Jia for preparing the yummy food! Shi Leng thank you for 34th all time favourite, the fondue! Hope you didn't make a mess melting the chocolate. But no worries, your effort is worthwhile, my family finished it the next day! Weili! Thank You for the potato salad!!! It's very nice! I ate most of it after my tuition on saturday and my brother loves it. My family finished it as well! Our dearest domesticated Ying Jia, thank you for helping with food preparation as well! I'm sure you did most of the tidying and packing hehe... =)

Thank you Jessie and Wendy for being there, though both of you are the only mg girls around (I'm another one of course!). Jessie, it's just so good to see you because we haven't met for ages! Wendy, thank you so much for liasing with Junhao since july! Also Thanks girls for the very beautiful scrap book... It's so filled with memories and joys.. I'll treasure them and show them to my kids next time! It's one of my best birthday presents ever! =)

Of course I didn't forget you girl ;). Huiyian, thank you so much for making this possible! For liasing with 34th and S15, for buying the 50 cents satay and of course for the very very pretty and HUGE birthday card! I love it! And of course Huiyian won the most encore award as well! Thanks for being around in most of the important events in my life! =)

LAst but definitely not the least, thank you dAr DaR *shy*! Haha I guessed I've already said so many thanks that I lost count. But no matter how many thank yous I've said, they still cannot sufficiently relate my appreciation! We've always talked about meeting my friends for meals and stuff, yet you actually met them behind my back! Haha... It's funny, haha but yah it feels kind of fuzzy warmly (if you get what I mean :P). Thank you so much for gathering all my closest friends! =)

It's my best birthday ever and I felt so pampered! Thank all of your efforts, every little bit counts as much to me! Finally, I thank God for showering me with the most wonderful presents... FRIENDS!


Regards and much thanks,
~aNqi^=Þ
p.s. let's meet up after exams k!

hope...less

Just got my MLE results. As expected, I did badly. Unexpected, I did VERY badly.

When I see the grades, it's as if I'm looking at hopelessness in its face. It's not about being upset anymore. Prehaps this sem, I am finally gonna say goodbye to my 2nd class, which i fought so hard to cling on to.

I thought of giving up as usual. But I'm quite glad I see something else. Think I'll continue to fight on. Regardless of what may behold. You can take it as the final struggle of a little fish, which has jumped out of water. Gasping for breath. Lol... Kind of dramatic huh? No matter what, I guess I have to carry on in the path I've chosen blindly to take 3yrs back.

Not that grades aint important. They are. Since I can't have them, I shan't cry for them. Life is too short to be saddened by something so detestful. Even if my final cert shows "Bachelor of Chemical Engineering - Third Class Honours" in ugly, Times New Romans, font size 24, bold, it wouldn't make me less of a person than I am. Yup! Come what may. Lousy grades, hideous cert, so be it. I want to be a happy person and that shouldn't affect my outlook in life.

There's many things to look forward to in the future. And... I believe I'm an amazing character in a storybook.